A Friend for Life

He's leaving us...      

     I could tell as I watched him today in the deepest sleep, his legs moving about as he dreamed of his past...or future life.  I stroked him gently and called his name but he wouldn't wake.  It was like he's already entering into his new life, splitting time between both worlds.  These deep sleep sessions with vivid dreams are becoming more frequent each day.  He's already prepared for what's coming next, and just needs a signal to move on.  

I know what's keeping him here.  It's me.  He knows I'm not prepared to lose him yet, that the thought of life without my best friend
is still incomprehensible.   We've spent so much quality time together these past few months.  Our evening walks are the highlight of my day, and he looks forward to them as well.    He always seems to be smiling as he lays in the grass, or does his mini laps on the soft lawn, in a slow walk of course.   We usually are out until dark enjoying the late afternoon cool-down. 

I called Mrs. S from work yesterday and asked about him.  "He's been sleeping all day,"  she replied.  "He's waiting for you to come home."   I was looking forward to coming home too, for that time when we can hang out and forget about everything else in this hectic world.   Last night he just lay down and watched the comings and goings of birds, people and the sun.   I know as long as I can get him out to watch the sun set and walk a few laps we will have another day together.   It's what's been keeping him going these past few months.  

  Every time we're out now it seems somebody asks his age.  Most are well meaning, and I can really feel their empathy.  They know.  The kitties know.  I think Mrs. S knows now.   His weight loss, the bowel issues, the lack of mobility and balance, the loss of fur, especially on his beautiful white mane.  I know what's happening and that there's no magical cure.   I just want to enjoy our time together while we can.   My energy is devoted to his needs , everything else will just have to wait.  He's always been there for me.  I'd like to be there for him now when he needs me most.  

I have thought of what to do when the time comes.    The kitties would need to see him after he departs-they are so attached to him.  Lilly is especially close to Kino, and worries when we are out too long.  She's always waiting by the door, and gives a concerned meow if Kino is on the porch.   




Kino and Lilly

Part of me wants to bury his body in our yard but what if we move.   Could I trust the new residents?   Then there's the cremation option, but where would be spread the ashes.   It would have to be a safe place, but the only safe place I can think of for my best friend would be in my heart.  

It's funny, and perhaps a little ironic, that when describing Kino's behavior I would probably joke that, "He's no angel."  It's true he is not the most well behaved dog, unless of course there's food in the equation.  

Kino sitting nicely "there's food in the equation."

But last time I checked that wasn't a prerequisite for being an angel.   Although I am not particular to any organized religion, I can believe that Kino has been like a guardian angel to us, and especially to myself.   He was always there when I needed him, always waiting to greet me at the door, always wanting to be near, especially when I was sick or down.   He let us reveal the true love we had inside us, and returned that love a hundredfold.  He was always quick to forgive, and never took us to task for our many faults.  And he was always there when we needed a hug, or just to share his company after a hard day.  His presence in a room is always reassuring to us, even if he's just sleeping.   And he always makes a point of being present wherever we are in the house.  He is our angel.   

It makes me wonder if the reason people don't see angels is that they are looking for ones that look like humans and are disappointed.  Imagine if angels are all around us, only covered with fur and tails.  Some bark, some meow, some oink, and some are silent.   They love us unconditionally, and bring joy to our lives that other humans just can't.    They don't ask for much, yet seem to have a sixth sense of the needs of us poor humans.   I'm thankful for Kino, for our kitties, and for the love they bring to us, unconditionally,  every day.   Thank you for appreciating the little angels in your life, this neighborhood, and our world. 

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